AMA No Dice

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Work Sucks

I got a fax today from the local E.R.

“Patient XXX left the ER today at 1800 after receiving a morphine shot Against Medical Advice. At this time it was discovered that a pad of ER prescriptions was found to be missing. All prescriptions from this ER need to be verified via phone call and will hereafter be pink rather than white.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

This drug seeker has found herself a world of trouble. This fax went to every pharmacy in a 50-mile radius as well as every hospital within a reasonable distance. All for what? A fucking shot a morphine that will get her a buzz for less than 6 hours. On top of that, any script she tries to fill at any pharmacy will be scrutinized, verified, and likely canceled.

I sincerely hope she has insurance too. If that’s the case, she’ll have to pay the ENTIRE bill. That’s right folks, if you have insurance and leave AMA, your insurance will not pay a single fucking dime. You get to pay the entire ER/Hospital bill….

What’s the going rate on a shot of Morphine these days? My guess is about $600 when all is said and done.

Sorry

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Me being a dick, Update

Dear Southern Illinois University-Edwardsville,

Sorry for banning your entire subnet. Someone at your school must have been a prick. I have removed the ban, hopefully the jerk will not return. Best Wishes!

The Angriest Pharmacist

PS - Check out this weird story I got from “Wayne” concerning Walgreens. They charged a lady for OJ, sugar, and a glucometer after she passed out from hypoglycemia in line. Or at least they tried to charge her…

“Omnipotent” Assholes and Dirty Ol’ (wo)Men….

Posted by LilLaura as Doctors, Lil Laura, Sexy Time, Stupid People, True Story, Work Sucks

This post comprises of the last few weeks of work, which have been unusually uneventful for me…. I start to worry as NOTHING EVER goes quietly for me. I couldn’t write as the last post dive bombed, so I’ll see how this goes, and if I cock up, I shall blog no more.

The *Angriest* one’s funniest post to date (IMHO) comprised of a complete arse of a “pharmacist” (no way was that real) trying to communicate with a patient (which makes me think it is a couple of medical students taking the piss out of our profession-because doctors don’t know or care how the drugs work).

There are two types of medical students-the chilled and relaxed (the minority) and the stressed and partied out (the majority, that become “omnipotent” assholes). So unfortunate that my little sister will fall into the latter category, though my blog is fast becoming an icon amongst the med students in her class-not quite what I intended!! Though a few have decided to try dentistry instead….as they now fear the wrath of the pharmacist!!

Omnipotent….used when describing a god because they are faultless and are never wrong, they know everything. Doctors may play with lives and like to play god, make mistakes like all humans do (otherwise they’d never learn ANYTHING-and usually we pharmacists are their reference guide) yet know FUCK ALL. I always laugh when a patient says they’d rather take their doctors word for it….because the very next week they are banging down your door because the doctor couldn’t be bothered with them! For example, yesterday I had to call for an ambulance for a patient who was suffering from severe dehydration after a bout of food poisoning-which the GP dismissed as “hyperchondrical”…..(fucking knob).

A local doctor (the same one as above, ahem) made the mistake of missing a patients adverse drug reaction to ibuprofen (Advil). I spotted it, reported it and did my duty. The doctor said to just dispense the prescription (”omnipotent” asshole). I told the patient that if he had any further trouble to talk to the doctor, as I was overruled. Like Pilate, I washed my hands….

Now, for the Dirty Ol’ (wo)men. Now, you’d think that for all the censorship, rules and regs we have to face in our personal lives, that those that set the standard originally would adhere to it-apparently this is not the case in Bonnie Scotland….

Last week, a woman, in her 70s asked to speak to me. In front of other customers, she proceeded to describe how itchy her lips were and that the doctor had given her a cream for them. I could see nothing wrong, until she uttered the words that nearly put me off sex for life “NO, not those lips dear. The lips DOWN UNDER” and pointed. Nice. Then there’s the “confident” (i.e. limp) men over the age of 60 getting Viagra for free, and they ALWAYS wink at me when I hand them their items (shudder). The worst has to be a man in his 90s (yes, over NINETY YEARS OLD), telling me that my name was very “Victorian” and he imagined me in a corset and crinoline dress… Never have I felt so used….

I think as a pharmacist you develop immunity as you always have to appear professional. When it happens to my staff though, I really laugh. These are women 20 years older than me, and they still get embarrassed, even though they’ve probably seen it all before! A member of my staff got very embarrassed the other day as she was witnessing a man take his trousers off-she froze and didn’t know what to do! Thankfully he had another pair on under them! HAHAHAHAHA! I stood watching her face getting redder and him wrestling with his trousers in front of a shop full of people. Fair enough, I probably should have intervened, but I couldn’t. (Probably the reason why I have an impacted wisdom tooth now, and am on antibiotics-which means that the alcoholic beverages are out for the next week, and the pain of it makes me VERY bitchy.Karma).

Cool little website

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Update

I found a cool website. It’s a great time waster, but it impressed me nonetheless.

The website URL is http://www.easyjo.com/led.php

Enjoy!

PS — The video of the BAD Consultation has been downloaded 1500 times since it was posted. Wow.

Damn Bicycles

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Laws, Me being a dick, Stupid People, True Story

I was driving home tonight, and I came to a “T” in the road. I was turning right. A bicyclist flew across the intersection the same way I was headed. I was nowhere near hitting her, but she ran the stop sign plain and simple. I made my turn, passed her in the left passing lane, and proceeded. She ran another fucking stop sign — passing me up. I made my way past her another time and got to the light….She didn’t run the light, but I rolled down my window.

“IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON THE FUCKING ROAD, YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD. STOP RUNNING FUCKING STOP SIGNS YOU STUPID BITCH”

She rattled off some inane babble about “did you see that red car right in front of me? were you watching that red car???”

I think she was implying that since she was tailing a red car very closely, that the red car’s stop counted as her own. Readers, I can assure you that while, in theory, this sounds correct — she is in fact a stupid, dumb bitch and needed a good kick in the cunt…which I would had delivered had I not be on a very important mission to get home and drink beer.

Attention bicyclists! I can accept your hippie ways. I can become accustomed to your unwashed hair and your vegan lifestyle for the betterment of ‘mother earth’ — but, when you’re on my fucking roadways, you obey the laws of the road you hippie scum. I don’t give a fuck how much you are reducing your carbon imprint…or mine!

If I had hit that fat, pear-shaped slut, my ass would have been in trouble…not hers. The cops wouldn’t have said…”Ohh she ran the stop sign…have a nice day!” They would have said, “You hit a pedestrian? I’ll see you in hell, motherfucker!” Then I would have been locked up.

Stay on the sidewalk, off my roads, and off my fucking last nerve.

Next time I’m going to door-check that sperm-burping whore….

Funniest Pharmacy Video Ever

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Disgusting, Education, Me being a dick, Pharmacy School, Stupid People

I just had this video forwarded to me a few minutes ago, and I had to immediately share it with the world. This has got to be the most awkward “patient counseling session” I have ever seen. All pharmacists did these little pretend sessions with a TA at one time or another. This is the absolute worst.

I have no idea when the video was taken or who these kids are, but it makes me want to vomit.

Some of the quotes the “pharmacist” in this video says:

“Uhm”
“We’re starting you on lisinopril which will lower your cholesterol.” [The patient's response is classic]
“The Zocor could react with the lisinopril you are already taking and I would definitely go see your physician tomorrow morning. If you’re not feeling well have someone take you to the hospital cause we don’t want you in a car accident.”
“He wants you to take this at bedtime because Zocor works…is…the way it works by coating the intestine and keeps flushing it out…”
“It works very well at keeping obesity in young people down and other factors.”
[Pharmacist looks around like a fucking idiot for a knife or something to cut his wrists - hopefully]
“The only concern I’m having with your medications is that they may have an interaction. The lisinopril and Zocor could interact and possibly cause death. Might want to avoid that as much as possible.”
“Otherwise…we filled it with gelcaps for you cause it’s easier to swallow. We used the smallest that we had. It may be a little more on the copay, but in the long run it’s easier to swallow a smaller pill than a larger.”

I sincerely hope this is a fucking joke. Good luck at regaining the prowess and prestige of pharmacy if this is what our future looks like. I think the kid must have taken a roll of ecstasy and cranked one out before this session, because he looks way too calm to not know what the fucking fuck he’s talking about. The real bitch of this is, he has an information sheet (or script for this joke video) sitting right in front of him. If he had the answers in front of him and he thinks lisinopril is for cholesterol, may we all die in our sleep along with our profession.

I wonder if all pharmacy students are this fucking stupid. Here’s the video…enjoy:

Crappy Consultation

New and Notes

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Update

- I beat Assassin’s Creed today. I hate it when endings of games or movies are merely setups for a sequel rather than a meaningful ending that makes sense. Now I have to way 2-3 years for the sequel on Xbox 720. I swore more in the last 30 minutes of the game than I did playing the whole thing.

- My internet is out so I’m stealing from my neighbor - he must have a different ISP…duh

- Last night I pooped something that was the size of a toddler’s arm. It, however, smelled like a homeless person.

- I have to go do some laundry or I’m going to get beat up tonight.

- Plans are in the works for a Raging Server, Angry Pharmacist, and Angriest Pharmacist get-together. The hijinx plan will end with one of us in jail for the night, one of us in the hospital for alcohol poisoning (just me or TAP - RS doesn’t drink), and many pregnant strippers. Alternate scenarios in my mind end with a midget in the trunk.

- Word on the street is that I might be named to The Pharmacy Alliance executive committee. I gave them a REAL hard time recently, so this is surprising…but I bring a rational, logical mind to the table. I can definitely be of assistance - but I’ll have to clean up my language some…and stop being a prick when someone says something stupid.

- MAJOR NOTE: I’ve got over 140 posts. People that stumble to the site would be hard pressed to read all of them. I want to compile a “Best of..” Page to go on the top next to CONTACT. I’m gonna read through and pick out some of my favorites. However, if you have some personal favorites, please send them to me via the CONTACT link above. It sends me an email notification. I’d really appreciate the input. THANKS!

Mind Your Own Business

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as --Not Pharmacy--, Money, Rude, Stupid People, True Story

The Angriest Fiance and I visited a local eatery tonight. Not a high priced place like PF Chang’s, but we certainly weren’t at McDonald’s. Quite frankly, I think the place is into witchcraft. I saw their delicacy of choice in a large tank of dihydrogen monoxide when I entered, and they were brownish black. Yet, when they served me a dead one to eat, it was obviously bright red. Either they are wikken-kind or someone has some talent with the paint brush in the kitchen.

All kidding aside, it was 9pm. It was an odd assortment of customers. We sat across from a black man and woman. It was her birthday. Our waiter was amazing. He was polite, quick, and always around when he needed to be. Anyway, it was the lady’s birthday - she was rewarded with a free daiquiri for her achievements.

As our wonderful waiter was serving us our salads and asking us if we needed anything else, our neighbor across the aisle decided that he needed my waiter’s attention more than I did. I guess he didn’t notice the fact that I had a male waiter, while his server was most definitely a female. Nonetheless, he let out a resounding, “Excuse me!” while a salad was being placed before me. In pure Angriest-Pharmacist fashion, the waiter ignored the man like he was a fart in the wind. After we were tended to, the waiter’s response was perfect. He acknowledged the man (barely), told him to wait just a second as he returned the “serving table” to the back, and walked away. He never returned — however their waitress came by a few moments later. I found this absolutely hilarious.

Finally, they brought out our main course. I proceeded to chow down on my feast before me. As most may know, there is some splatter involved with food that lives in water. You break a hard shell to get to the sweet, succulent, heroin-like substance within. I’m also a very, very, very messy eater. I got a little on me…and my date. She was not as amused as I was.

Our neighbors thought my entire meal was quite funny. They giggled and laughed. Hell, I think they pointed. It was pretty fucking irritating. I’m not sure why someone would spend more time watching someone else eat than staring at their own food and their own wife’s tits. I hope they enjoyed my dinner - I did.

Moral: Keep your eyes on your own fucking plate.
Tip on $50 check? $15 for service. $5 for ignoring rude ass people.

Just Questions

Posted by The *Angriest* Pharmacist as Just a question, Lazy People, Management, Me being a dick, PSE, Rude, Stupid People, Work Sucks

Every day I ask myself questions. Most are rhetorical…but they are pertinent questions. I will share these with you now. Feel free to comment with some of your own. OR Check Out Pharmacy Chick’s version of this same exact thing from February 2008.

Why do old, toothless people always appear to be chewing on something?

Why is it than if someone is walking to my pharmacy, I can predict with 99% accuracy that they want to buy 12-hour Pseudoephedrine?

Why is it that someone that wants a script filled 10 minutes before closing will have had that prescription for no less than 7 days?

Why does the person wanting a rare, expensive C-II drug come to my pharmacy each month wanting it only to find out that I still don’t have it and won’t order it for them unless they fill it with me once and wait for the order to come in?

Why does someone on Medicaid give me their card only to ask me to “just fill it for cash” — knowing full well that I’m going to bill it to Medicaid FIRST?

Why is it that people think they need Watson brand Hydrocodone/APAP? Nevermind - I know the answer to this one…more street value cause it can be identified by pill-heads.

Why does every person that I would idenfity as a drug seeker use “I have fibromyalgia” as the excuse for their early refill or other behavior?

Why does every complaint go to a non-pharmacist store manager rather than to me?

Why does every doctor’s voicemail message have the same bullshit message that I can’t skip over (they can press ZERO to get to me!)? “Leave the patient’s name, date of birth, drug name with spelling, strength, quantity, last fill and pharmacy call back number.”

Why do people have to ask for the pharmacist to give a refill number?

Why will people have pizza delivered to their home in an hour and be happy with that wait time but want their prescription in 15 minutes or less?

Why do people want name brand drugs then be completely happy with store brand soda, chips, water, clothes, and everything else?

Why would someone present a prescription for a child then refuse it when the copayment is anything more than free?

Why would someone call me a ’stupid fucking cocksucker’ during one trip to the pharmacy then yell at me during their next trip when I use the word ’shit’ in front of their child?

Why do I have to concern myself with HIPAA when any patient would be willing to yell, “Yeah my name is Fred Jones…3-14-51. Doctor Smith called in my Viagra refill this morning”?

“Sir, are you taking any other medications?” No.
“No OTC meds?” No.
“No Vitamins?” No.
“Any herbals?” Nope.
“No other medicines at all?” Well, I’ve been taking this Saint John’s Wort for depression.

Why is the answer always, ‘NO’ to “Do you have any questions for the pharmacist” only to have the patient call the pharmacy back in 10 minutes later?

There are 24 hours in the day. Why does everyone have to spend their 30 minutes in the pharmacy on the cell phone?

Why does every patient with a new insurance card present that card at the cash register rather than the pharmacy drop off window when the read the sign that says “Please present your insurance card when you drop off your prescription”?

Why is it that 1 out of every 100 patients feel the need to poor their pills out on the counter and count them right there in front of all of us?

Why do Americans have the words, “I want to talk to your supervisor” into their brains for use at the first sign of a problem, dissent, friction, or trouble?

Why is there a direct correlation between the number of items in a person’s shopping cart and the likelihood they will want them rung up in the pharmacy?

Why is there a direct correlation between the number of scripts filled in my pharmacy and the amount of alcohol I ingest every evening? Nevermind — I know the answer to this one too…

Why is there a direct correlation between a patient’s lack of teeth and oral hygiene and the likelihood they will present a medicaid card?

Why do I have to be the person to explain to some people that BEER cannot be paid for with Food Stamps?

I have a feeling this post has instant classic written all over it…

Yippeekayaee MotherF…What The Hell?

Posted by LilLaura as Lil Laura, Work Sucks

Woke up last Monday morning, energized and full of zing, hoping to bring down those motherfuckers in “L”. Spoke to “The Chief”-who said HE’D take care of it and get back to me….

Tuesday-was still energized. “The Chief” phoned….and my hopes of saying “Yippeekayaee MotherFuckers” were dashed….gone were the dreams of dressing all in black like the definitive Darth Vader….because “The Chief” had spoken to them and ironed out the problems….and then told me to talk to them, let them see what “a lovely personality” I had….<ewwww>. So, like a good marine, I obeyed orders (hey, it’s not my buisness and I am getting paid), but I DID NOT APOLOGIZE….(did you expect me to?). Only asked if we could “start over”, which they gleefully accepted…

Since Tuesday, I feel like I have been living in a parallel universe (do not start all the crap about how universe only implies there is one..etc-my masters thesis was on nanoparticles and I don’t give a shit!).

There is no atmosphere-the hectic world in which I am used to has…disappeared….there are still patients, but very little aggro (apart from the 60+ generation who I personally think should take life as it is and if they don’t agree, be strangled with their compression hosiery!)

So, in lieu of dressing like Darth Vader (maybe another opportunity will arise), I have decided to begin construction of a “death star”, which will obliterate GP (general practitioner) surgeries that get in the way….

Any of you who would also like plans of this are more than welcome to them, though be advised they are still in the developmental stage….

During my quiet time at work, in which I am usually writing up invoices etc for “L” (”L” is the local surgery), I got bored and decided to do one of those crappy online Freud-Jung personality tests….turns out I am a “ENTJ” or “Fieldmarshal”, less than 2% of the human race have this profile apparently….

An ENTJs trademark? “I’m sorry that you have to die”.

I don’t think I’d be sorry for anyone to die…..matter of fact, I’d probably say it like a Bond villain of some sort….with a wry,sarcastic smile….<evil laugh>

Anywho, sorry to let y’all down….but there is a time and a place…..and I will eventually get the chance to say what I want.

(Don’t know if you have ever heard of “Life On Mars” or “Ashes to Ashes” (songs by David Bowie, but the titles were taken for a couple of cop shows here in the UK-very good). The main character is a detective called Gene Hunt. The ultimate leader, whose approach to complaints consists of two words “FUCK OFF”).

Sounds good to me!! If only we could actually employ it :(

Since then, my ass has been kissed so many times (NOT literally, I am NOT the porn star, for a start I am BLONDE) by the local surgeries, I feel like such a tart…..

Instead of sending us out on the streets, the owners “pimp” us and our knowledge for free….

Any wonder we feel cheap and sullied after a day’s service?

Back to the Death Star plans then…..